This Morning before church I was able to listen to a BYU Idaho Devotional given by Casey Hurley. For God Did Send Me. In a way it was an answer to my prayers as to why I am going through some of the things I am going through.
In Isaiah 55: 8-9. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
It is so easy to wallow in what we think are trials and tribulations, rather than look at is something we need to go through to become who we need to be. I want to be a stay at home mom, for some reason that is not possible at this time. Growing up all I ever wanted to do is be a mom. A good mom. When the girls were younger, I stayed at home. I also watched other peoples children. We would craft, I did a pre school co-op. We would go to play group. I started a family home evening co-op. I was busy but, doing all the things I wanted to do.
Then our lives begin to change Brayden went off to kindergarten, then Ashlynn and I needed to go back to work. Kaylor was only 18 months. It was so hard, not only to leave my children in the care of someone else, but to enter back into the work world...I have not quite recovered from that. I have murmured and internally suffered ever since. I am still trying to look at the big picture. Heavenly Father has provided me a job, where I can have peace of mind. That I am able to provide for my children, and not have to worry that we will not have food on the table. He has provided me a job, where I am off when the kids are out of school. He has opened the doors, and blessed me with friends who have helped me out in child care needs. What a blessing. There are times when I feel I am in despair and he provides a way. My life is not how I pictured it, but needless to say it is working out.
The Lord has placed currents of divine influence in your life that will lead you along the individual plan He would have you fulfill here on earth. Seek through the Spirit to identify it and carefully follow that direction that the Lord has put in your life…. Oh, how I would encourage you to weave deeply into the fabric of your soul the recognition that your life now is a part of a much bigger plan the Lord has for you. You lived part of it in the premortal existence. You were valiant there and came here because you wanted to grow and enjoy greater happiness. What you decide to do now will affect how well you fulfill that divine, personal plan He has for you. By Elder Richard G. Scott.
Please bare with my as I struggle to figure out what I am supposed to being doing. This is my first time being a mother. I have my good days and my bad. I want to be better. Thank you to all who have been good examples , who have been there when I needed you. Who have helped me along. Please know that I am here for you. We are all trying to achieve that same goal. Let us help each other. If I do not reach out to you, know that it is not intentional. That if I have offended you, or not said hello, it is not because I did not want to. I to want to be there when you need me too.
May we all make the choices now that will allow us to grow and enjoy greater happiness as we apply the four principles: Principle #1: Draw upon all of your spiritual resources, #2 Endure faithfully knowing that God will deliver you, #3 Seek to find God’s will by understanding the pattern for personal revelation, and #4: Trust in the Lord and in all thy ways acknowledge him.